I hope that each of you had a wonderful Easter or Passover and, that it was filled with lots of blessings and joy. April is a tough month for me. It is the anniversary of the death of my Daddy, my Father-in Law, Mother-in Law, my Uncle, as well as my dear little Lucky who was my keeshound- corgi that I suddenly lost 2 years ago.
As I am thinking and reflecting about all the loss that has happened over the many years, I am also realizing just how each and every milestone good and bad, allowed me to be where I am in my life. Also, unlike a few years ago, where I would focus on the loss and hurt, I am now focusing on what I am grateful for and the blessings those are in my life. A Mom who is still healthy, living near us, who just turned 94 years young; three wonderful children and a great son- in law; an incredible husband who is loving, kind and my best friend; and wonderful supportive friends who give me inspiration and keep me on path toward my passion and purpose. I am now living in Utah where I am happy and thriving, enjoying the beauty of the surrounding mountains, and the community where I live. It so reminds me of my roots back in Southern California.
Then I begin to wonder, why is it that we seem to focus on the things that don’t go right, the things that are painful, negative and those that are unsupported in our life? Why is it easier to center on the pain and disappointment instead of the good things that have happen? Why do we allow these milestones define who we are, how we look at life and its up’s and downs, and ultimately keep us in a negative perspective, instead of using them as a guidepost instead of a hitching post toward a brighter future?
How can we change the way we look at life’s challenges, hurts, and disappointments to lessons of learning and growing? How is that possible even though they might be the most painful of situations at the time? How can we stand in who we are created to be, and reach deep into ourselves for the strength to persevere even when times are difficult and painful? I thought about this and realized how I came from where I was to where I am, and it was simply adjusting my mindset and my attitude. Sounds simple, right?
Here are some tips I use to change life’s challenges and hurts into a more positive light. Believe me when I say that I have used these more often than not in the last couple of weeks to stay in my light, I am being total authentic with you.
1. A Gratitude Attitude- What are you grateful for? If it is a loss in your life, then be grateful for the time and ability you had to share and spend time with that person. Look back on the time you had to learn from them, time to laugh with them and, time to love them and for them to love you. Give gratitude for the new day, the chance to start all over again, small steps of progress, and the beauty of the skies at night when the stars are shining brightly, the unconditional love of your pet, your children
2. Write it down. List daily 5 things you are blessed with or grateful for. Put it in a journal. Then the days that are struggles you can go back and re-read what you wrote. You cannot have a negative and a positive thought at the same time, re-reading what you are grateful for and the blessings in your life will help you move to a happier thought and place.
3. Find joy in the simple things. We are all wanting to make huge accomplishments and when we don’t we get the beat up stick. Instead of beating yourself up for the umpteen things you did not accomplish, look at the things you DID do! These are things that as of yesterday weren’t done, but they are now. Now you have more things to add to you gratitude journal.
4. Surround yourself with those that are positive, happy and on path. Jim Rohn said “You are most like the five people you surround yourself with.” So surround yourself with others edify you, keep you in light, lift you up, support you, those that are happy, and energetically are moving in the direction of moving forward in their life.
5. Appreciation and Affirmation - Appreciate those that you have in your life and let them know, and it will be reciprocated. Appreciate the accomplishments you have made, the goals you have set, the vision you have. Appreciation moves you out of the shadow side and into your gifts, light and creativity. I invite you to use I am statements, and give yourself permission to feel and then peel away those things that are causing you pain. Statements like; I am worthy. I am capable. I am loved. I am allowed to feel grief. I am empowered. I believe in myself. I trust myself and I trust others. I am empowered. I create the life I am deserving of.
Life isn’t always the way we plan it to be. It certainly has days that are tough, filled with challenges and downright miserable. We all are entitled to that pity party. Tears cleanse the soul but the good and bad of life creates the passion to be on path and purpose. When we allow ourselves the time to reflect, feel the pain and acknowledge the hurt, we can move forward. We know that the lesson, though painful, are necessary as somehow it will change the course of our life. It make a difference in things to come in ourselves and in others that will be placed on our path.
So my question to you is: Today, right now, in this moment… What are you grateful for? By looking at life’s blessings, how will they overshadow the challenges and allow you to be the person you are truly meant to be?