Don’t Stop Believin’

With Mother’s day behind us and Father’s day next week, I am feeling so blessed by family. I hope you had a wonderful Mother’s Day and Happy Father’s Day to you lucky Dad’s! I have had a tough month. I had major oral surgery in which the recovery did not go as easy as it was supposed to.

With every rainstorm there is a beautiful rainbow that eventually comes out, and mine did in a little pint size person named Rhyder. (That is him, pictured)

Rhyder is our first grandchild. He came to visit us a couple of weeks ago. He is 15 months old, and is absolutely a cutie pie (I know Nana is prejudice.) SERIOUSLY… check out those dimples! He is happy and healthy. We had such joy with him as well as his mommy and daddy here for over 5 days. Not having him in our life until now due to circumstances that were beyond our control, was proof enough for me. It proved: If you believe, have faith and consistently ask the universe for what you want, what you BELIEVE is going to happen.. WILL!

I visioned that we were an integral part of Rhyder’s life in my lifevision for well over a year. I also had his name on my vision board. See, I have wanted to be a Nana for a VERY LONG TIME. My hubby and I have 3 children between us. My daughter, who is going to be 30, has a husband she is putting through medical school. He has another year before they even think of having a baby.
My husband’s youngest son isn’t married yet, but we hope that will happen within the next year.
When Rhyder came back into our life I was ecstatic! Since I had only one child (a girl) I will tell you buying little girl’s stuff is very different than little boy’s. My husband, who has the two boys, cannot relate to little girls stuff. So when Rhyder came to visit (which was a surprise to my hubby, as he didn’t know they were coming) you will never guess where the first stop was… (HINT: My hubby is an avid waterfowl hunter, and I am SO NOT) Give you a clue??

You guessed it… CABELAS! Rhyder received his first camouflage shorts and shirt. Nana instead was MORE practical…. buying him a battery operated ride on police motorcycle, just like his Papa used to ride when he was on the Police Department. And of course styling shirts and shorts, NOT in CAMO!

The point of my message is, don’t stop believing in what your heart tells you to be true.
“Do not let your mind talk your heart out of what it knows to be true” is said often by my friend Kevin Hall. That is what I practice daily. Trust your instincts, your gut feelings, more importantly you heart.

We will realize the power we have to hold what we want in intention, whether it is using a vision board, lifevision, or affirmations. I know that though the time frame may not be clear, once we truly believe in our heart that it will happen and the intention is set; the universe listens.

So to YOU: You that have a dream, a wish, a goal or a vision. Do not stop believing. Listen to your heart and follow it. Dreams and wishes do come true!

Posted in Goal Setting and Manifesting, Gratitude, Inspiration & Motivation, Success Stories, Visioning Tips | Leave a comment

15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy

This week I thought I would share a great read I came across by my dear friend, Ty Bennett.

Here is a list of 15 things which, if you give up on them, will make your life a lot easier and much, much happier. We hold on to so many things that cause us a great deal of pain, stress and suffering – and instead of letting them all go, instead of allowing ourselves to be stress free and happy – we cling on to them. Not anymore. Starting today we will give up on all those things that no longer serve us, and we will embrace change. Ready? Here we go:

1. Give up your need to always be right

There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question: “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?” Wayne Dyer. What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big?

2. Give up your need for control

Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel.

“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.” Lao Tzu

3. Give up on blame

Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.

4. Give up your self-defeating self-talk

Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you – especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that.

“The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.” Eckhart Tolle

5. Give up your limiting beliefs

Give up your limiting beliefs about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly!

“A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind” Elly Roselle

6. Give up complaining

Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, maaany things - people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.

7. Give up the luxury of criticism

Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us all.

8. Give up your need to impress others

Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take off all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.

9. Give up your resistance to change

Change is good. Change will help you move from A to B. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change – don’t resist it. 

“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls” Joseph Campbell

10. Give up labels

Stop labeling those things, people or events that you don’t understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open.

“The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.” Wayne Dyer

11. Give up on your fears

Fear is just an illusion, it doesn’t exist – you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place.

“The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.” Franklin D. Roosevelt

12. Give up your excuses

Send them packing and tell them they’re fired. You no longer need them. A lot of times we limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves, using all kind of excuses – excuses that 99.9% of the time are not even real.

13. Give up the past

I know, I know. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past that you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all life is a journey not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.

14. Give up attachment

This is a concept that, for most of us is so hard to grasp and I have to tell you that it was for me too, (it still is) but it’s not something impossible. You get better and better at with time and practice. The moment you detach yourself from all things, (and that doesn’t mean you give up your love for them – because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another, attachment comes from a place of fear, while love… well, real love is pure, kind, and self less, where there is love there can’t be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot coexist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene. You will get to a place where you will be able to understand all things without even trying. A state beyond words.

15. Give up living your life to other people’s expectations

Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need….and eventually they forget about themselves. You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.

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How Comfortable Are You?

Your belief in your own skills and abilities is paramount in the success of everything you do. You already know that being more confident can help you make the decisions you need to make, giving you the ability to trust yourself and then bring it all to fruition.

We usually think confidence is one of those things we either have or don’t have. But, you may have more control over your confidence than you would initially think, and you can use three key components of to do a check on your confidence:

Comfort- Everything we want is just outside our comfort zone. Believing in ourselves, our gifts and our capabilities, we can move and stretch that comfort zone a little bit each day. Once it is stretched, stretch a little more, and with each time we do that, not only will our world expand but so will our comfort level. Just believe!

Capability- We have so many things that we are capable of. Sometimes we just choose FEAR –false evidence appearing real –as trying and failing is worse that never trying at all. Instead of seeing ourselves as a true essence of the gift we are and the gifts we have to share, we second guess ourselves. The great thing about being capable is that you don’t have to have all the answers, you just need to know the questions to ask yourself, so you can seek and find the answers to decipher if it is a good fit or not. If it is give you permission to do it, even if the outcome isn’t what you thought, you have learned new skills for the next time; if it doesn’t feel right then that is a component of confidence as well, being able to say NO!

Commitment - If you say you are going to do it, then do it. Show up, be fully engaged, give of yourself 100% and believe that you are meant to do exactly what you committed to do and know that your presence is making a difference in the outcome and possibly in others.

By believing in yourself, expanding your comfort zones daily and sharing the gifts that you have, your confidence level will soon be as comfortable as those cozy slippers you wear.

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How Do You REALLY Know?

Usually this So Cal girl loves the snow. The glistening and calmness it has, gives me a warm feeling in my soul. However, we did not have very much of the “white stuff” this past year. Instead we have had an array and smattering of rain, wind, sunshine, and warmer temps. Then only to be fooled by Mother Nature, we get a cold front coming through the next day. Not only were we confused, but so were the budding leaves on the trees as well as the flowers that poked their heads out of the ground, started to bloom. At that point it was “WAIT!!!!! It is too cold for me here!”
How many of us do that in our own lives? Get on a momentum toward a goal or project and then something changes our direction? It could be the slightest change, maybe like a wind or an absolute blow-you-off-the-path-monsoon. How you we course correct?
That recently happened to me. I had a project that was very important to me, in fact it was a passion to me to bring this event to fruition. It aligned with who I am and what I do in helping women. We never know what bumps in the road are going to come, when we start something. Somtimes it is our business, our personal life, or even our hobbies. What we do know, is it will not be a path that will be seamless, and that there will always be some hiccups. But what if we see red flags? What if we feel intuitively that something is not in alignment, or just doesn’t add up? Even though I knew the signs, I kept on keeping on, and every step of the way was another BUMP or even worse a pothole, the red flags were RED! It is often hard when we have outside people telling us why we aren’t REALLY feeling this way, and that what we perceive is happening what we FEEL is happening, really isn’t. They have plausible reasons, each and every time we hit that bump or pothole.
Why is it we do not trust our gut? When we see the signs that we need to course correct, or make a different decision, why do we keep on the same path, doing the same thing, making the same excuses? Is it feared of changing or is it that we don’t trust ourselves enough to make that decision?
We make decisions every day; everything we say and do is the result of a decision, whether we make it consciously or not. For every choice, big or small, there’s no easy formula for making the right decision. The best you can do is to approach it from as many perspectives as possible and then choose a course of action
that seems reasonable and balanced at that time.
6 Steps To Take Leading You To Make A Decision
1. List your options- Even if your situation seems limited; try to make a list of alternatives. Don’t evaluate at this point, just brainstorm and write down every idea that comes to mind, even if it seems a little odd. You can always cross it off the list later, but with those crazy ideas might come some creative solutions that you might not have considered otherwise. Then ask other people for suggestions, by getting feedback as to what others think about the situation can help in the decision making process.
2. Weigh the possible outcomes. For every option, list every possible outcome and label it as positive or negative. One way to do this is to put a plus sign (+) next to a positive outcome and a minus sign (-) next to each negative outcome; sometimes they can receive both. Then rate it with a number 1-10; 1 being the lowest
10 being the highest in the possibility of that outcome occurring. When it is put on paper and visualized it becomes more apparent to you.
3. Trust Your Intuition: You must feel comfortable with the decision. On your list, place markings next to those decisions that are backed up by your intuition. There are several ways to find out which those are:
* Imagine that it is already in place and implemented; how that feel does?
* Does it seem balanced and does it give you a calm energy?
* Do the same feelings of being unsure keep arising?
* Look ahead as that decision was already made; are you proud or is there regret?
4. Make a choice. This is, of course, the hardest step, but there will hopefully be a decision on your list that is backed up by both logic and intuition. It should have more plus signs than negative signs, and it should have your intuition’s approval. If things don’t match up clearly, though, ask for advice from people you trust. This can be a good tie-breaker.
5. Implement your decision 100%- Once you have made a decision, implement it totally. At this stage, don’t be confused by thinking about the other potential alternatives that you did not pick, do not let other’s sway you once you have made the decision. Know your choice and stand by it with your own empowerment.
6. Use this decision as a marker for others- By learning to trust your intuition, seeing red flags as red, and not making a decision to make others happy, but utilizing your gifts and ability to make a decision each time, using this process, you will stay or go on the path you should be on.
By using the decision making process above, I have since re-evaluated my original decision, and this process allowed me to move forward in a bigger and better way to serve the women that I started out to help. This time though, it feels REALLY GREAT!
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Is Your Pain Your Blessing?

I hope that each of you had a wonderful Easter or Passover and, that it was filled with lots of blessings and joy. April is a tough month for me. It is the anniversary of the death of my Daddy, my Father-in Law, Mother-in Law, my Uncle, as well as my dear little Lucky who was my keeshound- corgi that I suddenly lost 2 years ago.

As I am thinking and reflecting about all the loss that has happened over the many years, I am also realizing just how each and every milestone good and bad, allowed me to be where I am in my life. Also, unlike a few years ago, where I would focus on the loss and hurt, I am now focusing on what I am grateful for and the blessings those are in my life. A Mom who is still healthy, living near us, who just turned 94 years young; three wonderful children and a great son- in law; an incredible husband who is loving, kind and my best friend; and wonderful supportive friends who give me inspiration and keep me on path toward my passion and purpose. I am now living in Utah where I am happy and thriving, enjoying the beauty of the surrounding mountains, and the community where I live. It so reminds me of my roots back in Southern California.

Then I begin to wonder, why is it that we seem to focus on the things that don’t go right, the things that are painful, negative and those that are unsupported in our life? Why is it easier to center on the pain and disappointment instead of the good things that have happen? Why do we allow these milestones define who we are, how we look at life and its up’s and downs, and ultimately keep us in a negative perspective, instead of using them as a guidepost instead of a hitching post toward a brighter future?

How can we change the way we look at life’s challenges, hurts, and disappointments to lessons of learning and growing? How is that possible even though they might be the most painful of situations at the time? How can we stand in who we are created to be, and reach deep into ourselves for the strength to persevere even when times are difficult and painful? I thought about this and realized how I came from where I was to where I am, and it was simply adjusting my mindset and my attitude. Sounds simple, right?

Here are some tips I use to change life’s challenges and hurts into a more positive light. Believe me when I say that I have used these more often than not in the last couple of weeks to stay in my light, I am being total authentic with you.

1. A Gratitude Attitude- What are you grateful for? If it is a loss in your life, then be grateful for the time and ability you had to share and spend time with that person. Look back on the time you had to learn from them, time to laugh with them and, time to love them and for them to love you. Give gratitude for the new day, the chance to start all over again, small steps of progress, and the beauty of the skies at night when the stars are shining brightly, the unconditional love of your pet, your children
your family.

2. Write it down. List daily 5 things you are blessed with or grateful for. Put it in a journal. Then the days that are struggles you can go back and re-read what you wrote. You cannot have a negative and a positive thought at the same time, re-reading what you are grateful for and the blessings in your life will help you move to a happier thought and place.

3. Find joy in the simple things. We are all wanting to make huge accomplishments and when we don’t we get the beat up stick. Instead of beating yourself up for the umpteen things you did not accomplish, look at the things you DID do! These are things that as of yesterday weren’t done, but they are now. Now you have more things to add to you gratitude journal.

4. Surround yourself with those that are positive, happy and on path. Jim Rohn said “You are most like the five people you surround yourself with.” So surround yourself with others edify you, keep you in light, lift you up, support you, those that are happy, and energetically are moving in the direction of moving forward in their life.

5. Appreciation and Affirmation - Appreciate those that you have in your life and let them know, and it will be reciprocated. Appreciate the accomplishments you have made, the goals you have set, the vision you have. Appreciation moves you out of the shadow side and into your gifts, light and creativity. I invite you to use I am statements, and give yourself permission to feel and then peel away those things that are causing you pain. Statements like; I am worthy. I am capable. I am loved. I am allowed to feel grief. I am empowered. I believe in myself. I trust myself and I trust others. I am empowered. I create the life I am deserving of.

Life isn’t always the way we plan it to be. It certainly has days that are tough, filled with challenges and downright miserable. We all are entitled to that pity party. Tears cleanse the soul but the good and bad of life creates the passion to be on path and purpose. When we allow ourselves the time to reflect, feel the pain and acknowledge the hurt,  we can move forward. We know that the lesson, though painful, are necessary as somehow it will change the course of our life. It make a difference in things to come in ourselves and in others that will be placed on our path.

So my question to you is:   Today, right now, in this moment… What are you grateful for? By looking at life’s blessings, how will they overshadow the challenges and allow you to be the person you are truly meant to be?


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What Will Your Dash Be?

If you could have it all what would that look like? What would your life look like if you could create the life you most want? Can you visualize it?

I just finished an amazing two and a half days at “Ignite Your Spark” here in Salt Lake City. This is my second year of attending this inspiring event.  Last year I was an attendee and this year I was honored when Angela Johnson asked me to staff the event! Imagine, ME, supporting 250 women at this empowering women’s and teen leadership conference! I loved every minute.

At the event, there women from every walk of life and every creed and color. Each walked away with some kind of “ah-hah” or pearl of wisdom. They were able to allow themselves to see their future, their greatness, and their ability to change not only themselves and the world around them. 

Our keynote speaker was the moving and inspirational, Chad Hymas, who just finished his first book “Doing what must be Done”. Chad’s story is one that is powerful, inspirational and touching. It is a story that even with extreme adversity; nothing is too extreme for the human mind, body and spirit to overcome. Chad touched each and every person in that room. he reminds the audience that it isn’t about us; it is about what we are leaving as our legacy, and how we make a difference in those that we meet. This went perfect with Ignite this year, as the theme was “Live Your Legacy.”

We are born and we die, but it is that “dash” that is between the two numbers that defines our life, our legacy and what we have accomplished and who we have touched along the journey , that in some way to made the difference in others.

We all have the ability to reach out and touch others, and make that difference. This came come in the form of a kind word,a smile, or just a touch to let them know we care. Another friend of mine, Kevin Hall, author of the book “Aspire- Discovering Your Purpose Through The Power Of Words” always says, “Leave others better for having just met you”.

What can you do each day to leave someone better for having just met you?
How different life would be if each of us leaves the other person better for having met us? 

Here are 5 ways that each of us could do to “Live Your Legacy.”

1. Smile - Letting someone know you acknowledge them and SEE them is a great gift.

2. Send a note- Send a note, a letter or even a text. Let someone know that you are thinking about
them and they are WORTH that moment that you are taking out of your day.

3. Call them- Let them HEAR what they mean to you, just to say hello and that they were on your mind.

4. Give back to someone you do not know- buy a cup of coffee/tea /soda for the car behind you, pay for lunch for someone behind you in a fast food line, pay for a layaway at a store that has been left with clothes and necessities where the person who put it on layaway cannot afford to continue to pay on, hold a door for a stranger, help someone that cannot reach something in a grocery store, feed the hungry, clothe the needy, donate your time to a charity or organization, go to a library and read for children, be a mentor to a child or a teen.

There are so many ways to give back; TIME is one of the greatest gifts because that spells LOVE.

5. Be kind- Kindness is free, and it has a snowball effect. Once received it is easily passed on to someone else, and then someone after that. It is a warm feeling that opens the heart easily and quickly with out any strings attached.

Every person is an unrepeatable miracle. We all have our gifts and abilities to be the greatest we can be,
to make a difference in others, our community and our world.

So I ask you again:
If you could create your greatest life what would it look like?
What would that dash between your birth and death signify?

It’s never too late to start.
Today looks like it is a perfect day to begin.
Don’t you agree?
Posted in Gratitude, Inspiration & Motivation, Relationships, Visioning Tips | Leave a comment

5 Key Components of a Confident Person

Today as I was deciding on what to write for my newsletter, the word confidence kept popping into my mind. When I looked up the meaning through Webster’s Dictionary this is what I found:

1: a: feeling or consciousness of one’s powers or of reliance on one’s circumstances b: faith or belief that one will act in a right, proper, or effective way

2: the quality or state of being certain

3: a relation of trust or intimacy b : reliance on another’s discretion c : support especially in a legislative body

4: a communication made in confidence: secret

How often do we find ourselves at a loss of confidence? Just because we have a loss of confidence does not mean we have a chronic case of low self-esteem. Having low self-esteem often allows us not to feel good about yourself or your accomplishments. Those with chronic low self-esteem generally feed bad about themselves all the time.

When we find ourselves in a space that we are suffering from low self confidence, it usually is more a mindset that we have fallen victim to, and continually repeat as a pattern. Sometimes the patterns are unconscious, so we repeat them over and over not realizing we are doing, but ultimately we get the same results Confidence is all persuasive, as it shows up in every aspect of our lives. It is in the way we view ourselves, the way we see the world, how we deal with and approach critical situations in our lives, the way we treat others, and more importantly the way we treat ourselves.

Having true confidence is an incredible feeling of freedom, as it gives you the ability of self-love and self –acceptance which then flows into our self-esteem. When we are happy within and love ourselves first, then we do not need or seek the approval of anyone. Our belief in our self is so powerful, that with any dissatisfaction or even failure of things we have in our life, we look at it as a learning experience and the lesson to be able to fail forward!

Here are 5 key components of a confident person:

1) Self Love

To love yourself unconditionally allows those that surround you to do the same. You attract those that are like you. You have self love and self acceptance in all areas of your life. That doesn’t mean that there isn’t room for self-growth or improvement; there absolutely is, but it is always looked at to be positive growing experience to accept who we are in every sense of the word.

2) Self-Belief

Self belief comes with the ability to see what is truly possible! Since the universe is our limit, we can be unstoppable and fearless if we just believe in our self, We can remove those limited beliefs that show up as a block or barrier to undermine what we are truly capable of achieving, The ability to cope with crises that shows up in life, would be handled calmly and effectively, just because you believe that you can. This is the main difference between someone who is confident and a person with low- confidence. A confident person has the power to choose how they want things affect them and how to handle it in their life. A low-confident person, will rely on others to fix it for them or just make it go away.

3) Comfortable In Their Own Skin

Confident people are confident in their own skin. They show up with that confidence wearing it proudly, When they enter the room, they give a feeling of belonging and owning their presence. They give an aura that you want to meet them, get to know them. They have value to give to others, and leave others better for just having met them. They love who they are, and do not wish to be anyone else. They do not seek other’s approval to be who they wish to be. They are natural leaders, and others look to them to inspire them and set forth great things in motion.

4) Self-Awareness

Confident people know their potential and are always striving to push their comfort zone out just a bit more. They also know their limitations, and they identify their strengths and do not dwell on the negatives, but instead turn them into useful tools to enable them to move forward or even change direction if need be.. They know that they are unique human beings and that they are worthy, capable and enough, to stand in their decisions and be empowered in both their strengths as well as their weaknesses. But, to use their weaknesses as a guidepost instead of a hitching post to continue boosting their achievements and own personal self development.

5) Happiness

Confident people are truly happy with their lives. They seem to always want to see the glass half full instead of half empty. When they do have a time where they are down, it is brief and they are back up and embracing life once again. They are content with themselves, and confident with whom they are, which allows them to be happy, cheerful and with a smile that can light up a room! They do not let setbacks define them, they get up, brush themselves off and tackle the situation or problem at hand to reclaim their happy life. Keeping their eye on the goal and continuing on the journey as well as on the path of happiness and contentment.

When we stop tolerating things that do not allow us to be magnificent and instead focus on the things that allow us to grow, by removing the clutter from our environment and our minds; we then show up powerfully! We realize that each experience gives us the foundation to be that self-confident person we are meant to be and by clearing the space to practice the five tips above, will allow us to see who we are…. A confident, happy, incredible YOU!

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Break Through Blocks, Climb That Mountain!

During a 3 full day David Neagle event in Salt Lake City, we watched the video “I’m Alive” about the Chilean Soccer Team that crashed in the Andes Mountains. After watching, I started to reflect about the challenges we are each faced with daily, and the things that take immeasurable strength to move forward with in life. Unlike the 2 men, who walked out of the Andes with no real means of survival other than the strong will and perseverance to die trying instead of die doing nothing, I started to wonder what I would do and where I would stop and what do I think about when I have to make a decision.

Where do you stop? What keeps us stuck in that “fuselage” where it is safe?

We all have choices. Choices lead us through a journey of twists and turns that ultimately move us forward, sometimes kicking and screaming, but when we get to that destination and we look back on that journey that we have just been on and we realize that it was all for a reason. Each step forward gives us clarity and confidence. We begin to take baby steps of removing our limited beliefs that keep us repeating the same patterns over and over and keeping right where we are.

Here are 10 things we can ask ourselves in times of turmoil, self-doubt and Mountainconfusion to help guide us out of that fuselage toward the top of the mountain where we can see our future awaiting.

1. What am I not seeing? Where is my blind spot?

2. Am I afraid of the changes or am I afraid to be wrong?

3. What is the very worst that can happen if I move forward?

4. Am I focusing on the problem or the solution?

5. Am I letting other’s input cloud my own judgment or intuition or am I using it to guide me?

6. What patterns am I experiencing time and time again to bring me back to this point?

7. What would happen if I took my life back?

8. How bad do I want the changes?

9. Can I accept the responsibility without excuses to know my decision is my own?

10. If I make the decision and it is still not right, I KNOW I can always correct my course and make another decision and another if need be, knowing each one is moving me away from my situation and one step further to where I want to go.

Take time and think of each one of these when something blocks you from making that decision or moving forward. Also, realize that support is a wonderful tool. You have to DO it alone, but you do not have to DO IT BY YOURSELF. If we allow ourselves to see where we are, then we will allow ourselves to make the changes to see where we want to be. Because you are WORTH it!


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May I Be Transparent?

I just returned from a trip to Southern California, where we went to celebrate my Mom’s 94th birthday with family and friends. It was a joyous occasion filled with lots of special moments and memories. It was also a time to reflect on the person I am today and the person I used to be, before I moved to Utah.

My life is on such a different path than it used to be. The person I was, thank goodness, is not the person I have grown to be. I am going to be very transparent, and share with you who and what I was and why I am so blessed to be where I am today. Today, I am surrounded by people who I love, people who love me, and that I can make a difference with. It took work, trust, faith and most important loving me!

Emotional abuse starts in many ways, and in many different kinds of situations.

At home, it looked like: never feeling like I was enough, being told I should be better at this and that.

At school: I wasn’t thin enough or popular enough. The same themes carried throughout my jobs, my marriage and then I, myself, become my own worst enemy by the chatter that consistently is said by ME in my own mind. Can you relate?

My Health: I was 266+ pounds, and had 3 auto-immune diseases. I had no quality of life, and was in a very unhealthy, emotionally and verbally abusive marriage.

Others included: Marrying a man (for 23 years) who used control through his words to hurt, and destroy me; dis-empowering my self-esteem and belief in myself; undermining and sabotaging me; and then make me feel that no one else would ever love me. Thus I was deserving of this, and worst of all: I thought I was the one who caused the situation.

That was my life; and I could beat myself up with the best of them.

I think the biggest realization was the fact that I wanted to change. I wanted to be that person that spoke to others kindly. But speaking without having the words cut through to the very core to who I speaking to, was impossible. I learned it so well and it was a defense mechanism that was on auto pilot.

Why you ask?

I, being in a very unhealthy relationship for as many years as I was, become that chaotic person I was surrounded by. I lived in my story. I didn’t take the moments to realize what I was accountable for and what I could change and what I could not. That was my lesson to learn. This is even after I married the man of my dreams, who is my best friend and my soul mate. This was after moving to another state, where people treated me in unkind and hurtful ways. Even after all these things, it didn’t take long to fall right back into that cycle.

Gee, and I thought I checked my baggage at the curb!!

Your environment is critical of how you perceive situations, as well as deal with them. Outside influences, even small comments are taken so personally, that they cut to your very core. This had also caused me to be a person that was not fun to be around. I was always negative and, worst of all, hurtful to others that loved me. Now mind you, it was never meant to be malicious or intentional, it was automatic. It was like a switch that was turned on because of the past verbal and mental abuse that I couldn’t turn off… or so I thought. I also realized how it affected my friends, and how hard it was to continue to support someone who was draining them with all the negativity.

That is when I read the book Aspire by Kevin Hall. It changed everything. I learned my word. GENSHAI. Never treating someone in the manner that is small…including myself! I also learned you I can apologize, be accountable and forgive, starting with ME. You can always move forward, and take a chance to mend the past, you cannot change it, but you can change the future! Going to So. Cal gave me the ability to mend a friendship of over 35 years; to show up as me the REAL me, the HAPPY me, the KIND me. The “me” I always was, but just never believed in enough to show to myself… let alone others.

I now use my mess of who I was to help others. I help women who are drowning in a unhealthy abusive relationships with themselves or another person. I help the woman who cannot find that switch to turn it off and move toward a new light of being positive, having respect, love and kindness.

You deserve to be happy, loved and respected. If you are wondering how to gauge the health of your relationships, you aren’t alone. My website allows you to take a confidential assessment test of just how healthy your relationship is; intimate or non –intimate. Click here to go Visioning Your Life to take the assessment and receive a free 30 minute consultation with me for the results.

You deserve it all, and the best thing is YOU CAN HAVE IT!


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Tedx Bountiful- Queen Its a New Day

A few weeks ago I spoke at a event called TEDx Bountful. It was a wonderful experience that I was able to share my story, my passion and share about an amazing event that Utah will be hosting in December 2012 that will transform women who are broken, forgotten and abused. The event is called Queen Its A New Day.  It helps women who are on the journey toward healing to have a complete transformation on the outside and then learn tangible life skills and tools to move forward in their healing and their new life.  Please enjoy the video, and I invite you to come and be a part of this incredible event by donating, attending or volunteering. The choices we make in ourselves, our community and others make a difference in our world. 

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